lost in love.

ive written this letter tens of times, but when it actually matters, i cant find the right words to say. 

dearoldlove:

I miss being your friend more than I miss the benefits.

dearoldlove:

People keep telling me I’ll find someone new; they never say I’ll find someone better.

not having to hold such a weight on my shoulders about this is a relief. its not a secret in my house anymore, we can freely talk about it, even better news, i can stay in the loop more. staying in the loop also will be a bad thing, as i soon am realizing. 

i find out when youre coming home, i find out how bad or good things are going, i find out about all the adult drama thats going on here while youre thousands of miles away. 

i sincerely hope things are going good. it kills me not to be able to talk to you, write you, or see you for that matter. i count down the days, soon maybe ill finally get a letter from you. dont be angry at your dad, if anything be angry at your mother. shes the one who wanted to send you far from us, not him. i will tell you the truth and everything you need to know that happened in the year and a half that you will be gone. 

take care of yourself, reach that happy go lucky place that i know is in your heart. ive seen it more than once, just not as of late. bring it back, its a side of you we all miss. 

this summers going to be hard without you. we spend most of the time during the year together in the summer. lazy summer days and cookouts wont be the same. the lake sure wont be the same, who will i fall off of a jetski with? 

get well, please dont go back to your old habits. start fresh. we love you, and thats one thing that hasnt and never will change.

missyoubirdie.

hopefully this time next year, we will be reuniting, celebrating our graduations in the best of ways.